As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
