can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
