So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
