i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
