Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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