He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
