dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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