I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Randomize
