Me. At least after what I've been through.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
