How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
