Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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