ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
