I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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