She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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