I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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