sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
