Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize