dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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