If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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