He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
