So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize