Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
