Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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