question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
