Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
