in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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