i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize