Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my sisters under your porch take her home
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
