So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
