So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She's the barista slut.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
