So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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