Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
