Im at strip club and am horny
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
