Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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