They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
