I got chris browned last night
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize