i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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