Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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