I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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