But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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