At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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