I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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