kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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