You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize