dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I love having hate sex.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize