I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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