She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
