i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have tasted many bathrooms
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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