don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
