OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
ok first of all what the fuck
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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