i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
