The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
