i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
