I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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