OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
