The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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