plz talk dirty to me
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize