Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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