so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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