your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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