i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
