No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
