WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Me too!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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