I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
