Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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